Chioma!!! Chioma!!! Chioma!!!
If I no use u do pepper soup,wetin I gain?
Lemmi tell u people what happened first.
Finally, after the suffering in Nigeria, the opportunity
came for me to travel to America. I didn’t informed
anybody about it,not even Chioma, for the fear of the
I kept it a secret till my visa and date of departure
The morning I was to travel,I informed my
neighbours,they were like,”ahan! Chima why u no tell
us on time na?” I replied,”make una no vex,I forget”
they all started been nice to me,because I’m
travelling out. In my mind,I was like,”see these nice
people ooo. People wey kala me die for this
compound,but because I dey travel to America,una
wan come dey form familiarity. Shishi,una no go see,I
no go even send common socks,for anybody”
I asked the whereabout of Chioma,they said she went
out. They helped me in carrying my backs to the
waiting danfo,about 5 bags. One of my neighbour
complained that the bag he was carrying was
heavy,but I never took him serious, few minutes
later,we bade goodbye and I departed to the airport.
We arrived at the airport. My bags were screened,and
I was good to go. I and other passengers,we entered
the plane,and fastened our sit belts. This was not my
first time of entering a plane,but its going to be my
first time of flying in a plane. The first time I entered
a plane,was many years ago,in my primary school.
We went for an excursion to an airport. We paid,ooo.
Which excursion be free in Nigerian schools? So,we
entered one of the planes,sat down,they fastened our
seat belts. We were happy that we were going to
fly,the next thing I know,they served us asaro
(porridge yam) inside the plane ooo,with our sitbelts
still fastened. After we finished eating,they
unfastened our sitbelts and asked us to come down.
Comman see trouble. “Come down forwhere? Una say
we go fly in an aeroplane,we pay una,una carry us
enter here,wear us sitbelts and give us asaro chop.
So,without wearing the seatbelts we no go chop the
asaro abi?” We protested. “No,ooo! We are not
coming down, this plane must fly,if e no fly,we go fly
am” after much pleading and begging,we came
down. But today,I’m in a plane again,with my sit belt
fastened,the aeroplane started,and up we go. Bye
bye Nigeria. Una father!!!!
Inside the plane,the ushers abi na sales girls started
sharing breakfast. 2 slice of bread and tea inside that
small China tea cup,called saucer,abi ulcer. The lady
gave me mine,and said,”sir,breakfast is served” I
collected them from her. What are these people
trying to do? Una wan starve me before I reach my
destination? Make e for no waste,I just swallowed the
tea and bread at a go. Opened one of my
bags,brought out agege bread,those #300
own,brought out a big jug. I went to their
kitchen,boiled water,full my jug and came back to
my sit. Everybody were just looking at me. “I send
una? I no pay for the flight?” As I was eating,I heard a
familiar voice from my back,”bros,bros” I turned back
to see who it was,it was one girl,she said,”abeg,cut
small bread for me” I looked at her and replied,”cut
wetin? So u can beg? U know know where bakery
dey? Shebi I dey talk to u for down,for airport,u no
answer,now u come dey beg. Hope ure not going to
beg for a living in America?”
I faced my front,consumed my breakfast,then I slept
I had a dream,that I was married to a wealthy black
and beautiful American lady,we got 7kids,homes and
cars everywhere,for sure,I don be their citizen
already. I was woken up,when I heard,”ure welcome
to the united state of America” now now now? But if
na for Nigeria,from mile 2 to cele ijesha be like say u
dey travel to another planet,traffic go just kill person.
As I was stepping down,my joy knew no bound. They
started screening our loads,if ur own shows green
light,that means,ure good to go,but if e show
red,wahala dey be that. We formed a straight line,the
people at my front,theirs was showing green,as it got
to my turn,my own showed red
They said,”young man,step aside” I did. They said
they were going to search my bags,of which I
agreed,but I was angry too.
They searched first bag,nothing dey there,except my
clothes,same with second,third,forth. As they opened
the last bag,Lo!!!!! And behold!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chioma!!!! What are u doing inside my bag?” There
was chaos inside the airport,everybody were rushing
to see the girl that folded herself,comfort
ably inside a bag. Then, I remembered one of my neighbor that
complained earlier,that my bag was heavy. Na the
bag Chioma enter. If I had known,I wd had checked it
Chioma, who told u I was travelling? How u take
know? She refused to tell me,she said it was when I
went to take my bath,she quickly ran into my
room,emptied one of my bags,entered inside,and
locked herself. I was crying bitterly,”why? Chioma
why?” She said she could not live without me,that
was why she followed me. I fired,”It shall not be well
with u!!!!” I had asked this girl out severally,she
refused,saying I no get money,I no get swagger. Now
wey I wan go make the money,u don destroy me.
Few minutes later,policemen arrived,and they were
told all that happened. They said,since it wasn’t a
kidnap case,that they would set me free and deport
us back to Nigeria.
I went on my kneels,crying and begging,”pls,don’t
deport me back to Nigeria, just deport me to one of ur
prisons,I will gladly spend my whole life there” they
refused. I said,”in fact,I kidnapped her,ooo! Its an
offence to kidnap,pls,arrest and jail me” they
refused. “Ooooh! I’m pained!!!! Why didn’t they
discovered this in Nigerian airport? Who did this to
me? Na who I offend?”
I asked for one last wish,I told them that,let me just
step a foot,on American soil,and go back,make e for
no be say,I come here for nothing. They refused,they
said a Nigerian guy asked for the same thing,after
they found out his paper was not complete. Security
personnel escorted him,immediately he stepped a
foot outside,he just disappeared,he varnished,till
now,it has bn 4years,dem no see the guy. Affliction
shall not happen the second time. No be the guy
fault,he might had sold all his father’s properties to
travel out,then u wanna deport him?
Brethren,as I’m typing this,I’m inside a plane,coming
back to Nigeria,I and Chioma.
Chioma!!! Chioma!!! Chioma!!! If I no use u do
pepper soup,wetin I gain?