Yvonne Jegede speaks candidly on her failed marriage with Olakunle ‘Abounce’ Fawole, son of legendary thespian Zainab Bukky Ajayi in a revealing video interview.
The actress with a career spanning 16 years said her marriage to Abounce was filled with issues they couldn’t deal with all through their one year of living together as a couple.
Yvonne Jegede admitted their marriage has been over long before the birth of their son together, Xavier.
In the video interview conducted by Pulse Entertainment editor, Gbenga Bada, Yvonne Jegede spoke about her husband and colleague Olakunle ‘Abounce’ Fawole.
How has it been like being married to a colleague or an entertainer?
Initially, I didn’t want to be with an actor but when you have a friend that has been there and has constantly told you this is what I want from you, then you turn around and wonder if God is not trying to bless me while I keep saying I don’t want to marry an actor.
So, I’m just going to try it. And marrying an actor was good. Marrying an actor was good in the sense that we both understood the job and there are so many things I won’t have to explain to him. So, yeah, it was good. And if mine didn’t work out didn’t mean others won’t work out because when I got married, I did my court marriage on a Wednesday and I was on my way to court when a director called me and said I have to be in court but I said no because I was getting married.
He begged and said can I show up after the court session and he started explaining and I said “you know what, call my husband and tell him”. The director drove over to the house, came around and before the guy even said abeg, my husband was like okay, it’s fine but if it was a banker or doctor, the person would have asked the director if his wife was on set at that point in time.
Mistakes and lessons learnt from the crashed marriage?
Of course, I make mistakes and I am not perfect just as I learnt lessons too from the marriage. I’m not an angel, I can’t be perfect, I made load of mistakes that could have been overlooked or corrected but here we are today. I have also learnt from them and moved on, I have learnt from experience and such mistakes won’t happen again.
Was the marriage worth it while it lasted?
Xavier! Have you seen my boy? He’s a blessing, so yes it was worth it and the times we shared together were nice. The journey was sweet, I wouldn’t trample on those times and say it was bad the whole time.
So, you might try marriage again?
Well, I am just focusing on my child if and only if somebody wants to go down that line with this old lady but right now, the energy, no, not right now.
You changed your name from Yvonne Jegede Fawole to Yvonne Jegede, what’s going on?
I am Yvonne Jegede is the name on Instagram.
But that has sparked off a lot of talks about the state of your marriage
Right now, we are not living together, and we are not living as husband and wife, we are not husband and wife anymore and I would say a mutual agreement to go our separate ways. It didn’t work out, it wasn’t working out.
Were there complaints, was he not satisfied with the marriage, what really went wrong?
You can say that but you know when two people have lived together as husband and wife, and you have issues like this, there are complaints from both sides. I have my own complaints, I have my own issues that I am dealing with and I don’t see the relationship and marriage going beyond where we got to and we had to call it quit.
Was this decision before the birth of your son, Xavier?
We started having issues before the birth of Xavier. I think I was about two to three months pregnant when the issues came. Immediately the issues came, there was never a dull moment, it just kept going up and up and it got worse and it got bad and today here we are.
Was your ex-husband with you through the pregnancy, delivery and after birth of Xavier?
No. As a matter of fact, he wasn’t and there was no sign of him being interested which is what got me on my own side really really, got me thinking.
He wasn’t there physically, emotionally and at that stage, I was very tender, very vulnerable and I wanted the care, concern, I didn’t get any of that. It was basically like I got myself pregnant, so, things just couldn’t get better. I was the one who was pregnant, he had the hormones raging, so I guess that was why he wasn’t there.
Was there a third party?
Third party? No, there was no third party but he was listening to people or let me not say people, a friend, somebody who was always talking to him and telling him what to do. And that friend of his was my friend before and I guess I wasn’t in the country and they would hang out and getting along as friends and that was it.
But it wasn’t an affair?
No, it wasn’t an affair but the friend had a stronghold on him.
And you have no idea why your friend would have such stronghold on your husband?
Well, she was cool with me and I was cool with her too, we were like buddies, more like family friends so to speak and he got really comfortable with her because I introduced them to each other and he would go over to her place and she come around and just chill and hangout.
How has it been like with a baby and separated from your husband?
I’m still by myself. I am a very strong person even if nobody says it to me, I know how I handle my issues and businesses. I would say there’s never been a dull moment, there has never been a time that I sat down and felt the world is against me. I am doing fine, I have never regretted anything in my life, not even this especially with Xavier.
I am good, I have been literally by myself since April because I noticed I missed my period in January, so since then till April when I moved out till today, it’s not felt like there was a marriage.
It didn’t feel like I was ever married, so, it has all been about me and myself through the whole process and when I saw the publication that he wasn’t sure of his child that was why he didn’t post the pictures online.
I wasn’t sure who he said that to but you know how this world is when you meet somebody, you talk to the person and you realize this person is not so bad and you remember all the bad things you have heard about the person and you begin to wonder.
So, I have gotten to hear some stuffs, when I got married, it wasn’t like I got pregnant and just came out to announce my marriage, no. We went to look for a child, we sought medical help and he came home one day to tell me that he has one friend who has a doctor contact we can go to and can help us as he helped them.
And we went in October, November and December, three times and in January, boom, I missed my monthly cycle. I was in Dubai when I noticed and told him and I told him that when I return, we would go to a doctor to make proper confirmation.
I came back, we went to the hospital and things just changed drastically after I got pregnant. I think what prompted me to move out was that I was in the house with him for three weeks and we weren’t talking, we weren’t speaking to each other and I didn’t have the power to complain because if I did, it would hormones and hormones.
And from time, I have never been the type that knows how to keep malice because I can’t be in the house with you since it’s two of us and I can’t speak with you. I was pregnant, I could smell the trash, I felt irritated but I found myself getting upset with some certain things and my husband will be even more angry than I was, he was not helping things and all of a sudden weeks gone by.
He started irritating me more when a little friend of mine came to spend two weeks with us and he would walk past me and say babe I just bought some things, do you want to make stew for me, I am going to the gym.
She was there for the first and second day and she walked up to me to ask why my husband was talking to her and not me and I would be like make the stew for him and fix my eyes on the TV. Initially, I thought I could handle it but I couldn’t and I packed my things and said, you know what, I am pregnant, I need somebody to take care of me and I went to my parents house where they can take care of a pregnant woman and that was how we found ourselves here.
And you insist there wasn’t an extra-marital affair?
No, not at all. Maybe he’s doubting me, I don’t know but I am very certain about myself that not even when I was trying to become pregnant. I never even dated before I got married, I didn’t do it after we got married, so I wouldn’t do it while we were trying to have a baby together.
Like I said, it took us almost four months, so it couldn’t have been that era. So for me, I was very clean and committed and for him, no, none of that, there was no text message, so I don’t know.
Would it be right to say he didn’t want the pregnancy?
He should have said if he wasn’t, it isn’t like I was going to take my baby away, hello! He should have said so I would know what the issues were and till today, there is no communication. We don’t speak.
And when you read about the publication about the baby’s paternity?
No, I didn’t call him. I only reached out to him when I feel the need to because he knows Xavier is his son, he is 100% sure he’s his son. But who did he speak to, who are the sources that were spreading these.
He’s been to the house twice after we got back to the country, he’s come to see his son twice and he has pictures with his son on his phone which I took so why he’s not posting them, maybe his personal reasons, maybe he’s not like me who is showing to the world, I don’t know but is that enough to give me a name? No, you don’t give me a name like that, common, that is not right, people tried to bully me or make dry joke over this, about my life, would you be happy if I were your sister but anyways, I am here, I am strong and will be strong for my son. I have morals to set for him and what the world is about.
With all these, would you say the relationship or all that happened was a mistake?
It was never a mistake. I don’t make mistakes especially not with decisions like this. He was a good friend of mine before we got married, we were very cool, it wasn’t like we dated or a situation where I say there is a guy I am seeing but we were very good friends, so much trust, so much friendship, so much laughter and these were things I wanted to enjoy in my matrimony but I guess love was not enough, love is never enough in marriage.
What would you have done differently?
What I will do differently is, don’t overlook things because those little things you think you can overlook and not comfortable with might become the same things that will make you walk out of marriage.
So, I will not overlook anything, no stone should be left unturned, ask questions. It’s not like we didn’t have that conversation after the proposal, yeah we did and everything he said during that conversation, promises, I didn’t see any of them after we got married, which is not really the problem but the problem is we have a child, a beautiful son and we have to do everything right by him.