THE OLD saying goes that “size doesn’t matter”, but to the raunchy Ancient Greeks, it meant everything.
The Greeks saw a shrunken schlong as a sign of elegance.
“[In Ancient Greek culture,] the proper or beautiful penis is dainty,” explained John Clarke, an ancient erotic art scholar at the University of Texas.
“A human with very large genitalia, especially male genitalia, is considered to be grotesque, laughable.”
This unusual obsession is evident in Greek statues and artwork, where men are often depicted naked with less-than-impressive todgers.
As well as beauty, the Greeks lauded small willies as a sign of modesty and self control.
Conversely, a big rod was used to symbolise an idiot, often overcome by animalistic lust.
In Greek art, longer love muscles are often associated with animals that follow lust above everything else.
Half-human beasts like the satyr, which are goats from the waist down, were often presented with big winkies.