Veronica’s Daughter and Inyom Ola 🤣🤣
So I was a new bride…u know how that feels, wear nice dresses, look good just to show ya husband’s people that they did not make a mistake! The village women group to which I now belonged, welcomed me with open arms and all said I was very pretty…odimma.
They gave me their rules and regulations: No adultery (see me that I was planning small adultery by the side, but since they said no…make I leave that one na…), No fighting (if u do, u will pay a fine and bring one goat…since I didn’t have goat, I decided to only shout at anyone that annoys me…goat cost abeg), no wearing of trousers (Veronica didn’t allow us wear trousers, so till date…I find it hard), no mini skirts (🙄🙄🙄), no shorts, no short skirts or short gowns….(na here wahala start)…
If you know me well, you will see that me and short dresses be like bread and butter…. Veronica no gree us wear trouser, so the only way to feel sexy, na short skirts and gowns…as I comot from Vero house…my gowns became shorter..(🙄🙄🙄 wear it in her house and Menco’s babe will allow you go outside, then she go follow u with scissors and cut the dress in public, so respect yasef) I’m plump, una still want me to wear midi or long skirt or dress? That’s not happening.
I must be sexy in one way. Now these women have come with their own wahala. So, as a smart babe, I made some dresses that covered the knees, so that I can use it for village events…bought their uniform wrapper for burials…(burial gists na different matter…🤣🤣) And I was ready to face those amazons!
If u come for any Umunna function, they must ask u to share food, and u will need to bend, so there should be no film show going on behind u. To share food, u must also cover ya hair, so u will not put hair in their food. My mother inlaw always puts small headties or handkerchief innher bag for us…so once they call, Ella Ezeadilieje, Bia Kee Nni (Ella Ezeadilieje, come and share food), she will call me, Ella, bia were! (Ella, come and take!)…after sharing, she will send me to the car to bring our food flask and nylon for extra food…(if they share chicken for everybody, Mama will ask if u want to eat ya own here, if not, she will collect all and tie them together….when we reach house…she will share all of them!) My mother inlaw na another character! I love going out with her…things happen around Odibeze….
So, my boyfriend and I attended a wedding in Awka, so, I wore a short dress, not too short o…just slightly above the knee. So after the wedding, Oga said let’s enter the village, there is a wedding we will just breeze into. I agreed. We entered Igbo Ukwu…on getting there, I looked and first thing I saw was Inyom Ola women😲😲😲😲🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆
My husband has killed me. I refused to enter o…he said come let’s go! Will they eat u? In my mind I was like, see this one…u don’t know these women….they will kill me with their eyes and tongues.
After much argument, I summon courage, wear sunglasses, follow Oga Waka enter…see…if looks could kill eh…I for die that day! The celebrants ushered us into the house, served us food….after like ten minutes, one woman came to say Inyom Ola is calling me😲😲😲🙆🙆🙆
My boyfriend said I should not go….that he is telling me not to go, that nothing will happen…🙄🙄🙄🙄 Uncle, just keep kwayet pls. I delayed and delayed…finally, as we were leaving, I walked to where they were seated and they put me in the centre….Oputa Panel began…
‘So, u are not afraid, u wore this kind of dress to a village wedding? Have u forgotten our rules? Are u not ashamed? A mother like u? So, u think u are the only one with a fine husband? So, all of us tying wrapper here, our husbands do not love us the way ur own loves u? So u are dressed like this so that people will say our kindred women are wayward?’
So many questions from so many different woemn of different ages…hian…ordinary short dress? So if I fight or follow man, these women will just Barb my hair and kill me???!!!
I started thinking very fast…what to do??🤔🤔🤔🤔
I just went on my knees straight and adopted a very humble, apologetic and pitiful face and commenced my begging…
‘Pls, I beg u people, forgive, I am very sorry. This will never happen again. Pls, I swear I didn’t know we were coming to the village…we went to Awka for a wedding, so my husband said we should just breeze in….I swear I didn’t know. How can I? I know all the rules and regulations, why will I flaunt it? Pls forgive me….it will never happen again…bikonu…ah, Mama, when u were young like me, were u not mad sometimes? Do I look Ok to u??? Na small girl dey worry me….u know I’m still very new at this….pls, I promise, it will never happen again….!’
By the time I finished my begging, the women were rolling in laughter….’so, u know u are not well?? This girl, u behave like ur mother in law…that is how she used to behave…she is always very cheerful, funny and always has something to say!’
At the end of the day, they let me go with a warning, gave me garden eggs, Kolanuts and one even dashed me #100🤣🤣🤣🤣
That incident taught me a leason. Pride aside, sometimes, it’s good to lie low, play the fool and do things u will normally not do, just to keep the peace! From that day, those women started loving me… anywhere we have an event, if they ask me to do stuff, I run and do it, not minding if it’s beneath me or not, I dress up in all my finery, then go and share food or wash plates, serve the men, not minding where we are. It never bothers me if they are a bunch of illiterate women, or village women, they are my kindred….we are family and this is what family do.
More village gists coming up from this Christmas vacation 🤣🤣🤣🤣