You Woke Up In The Middle Of The Night And Found Your Partner Masturbating, What Would You Do?

Sexy pop quiz!

Have you ever awoken utterly confused to a mild vibration, only to find it’s your partner taking care of business, solo-style right there beside you in bed?

Did you:

A) Laugh

B.) Ignore it

C.) Shut it down

D.) Lend a hand? Let’s explore!

In any cohabiting relationship, it’s bound to happen eventually, right? Someone is horny, the other someone is not and/or asleep, so the horny someone decides to service the equipment. True, in many anecdotes of this nature the horny someone sneaks off to another room, waits until they’re alone, or pressures their mate into maintenance sex. But let’s imagine here that it’s late, they’re tired, and, hey—it’s their bed too, right? This, at least, was the scenario in a recent Dear Prudence over at Slate.

Dear Prudence,

I recently moved in with my boyfriend of about two years. Everything has gone pretty well, except one. My boyfriend has always had a very strong libido—I have no complaints about that—but lately his desire has been over the top, and the other night he crossed a new line. I have not been as aroused lately due to some issues outside of our relationship, and it has been a little hard on him.

The other night when I came to bed (he was already asleep), he woke up and, as I was drifting away, I felt the bed shake a little. I look over to discover that he was masturbating right there next to me. I told him I found it gross, and he said that most other people would just join in!

Am I wrong for thinking this crosses some sort of politeness barrier?

I feel icked out and don’t know what to do.

—Sleeping Beat-y

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